Monday, April 24, 2006

The Disappearing Self
I am reading a book about people's experiences of becoming enlightened. As I digest what they report, I notice we are in a time of an almost ridiculous polarization, on the verge of annihilating our physical environment and nameless numbers of lives through excruciating hatred and greed while simultaneously, a core group is on the verge of real enlightenment. Does it take the intensity of the physical plane today to catalyze the heights of good AND evil? One of the experiences reported by the enlightened people is: the sense of personal self is gone, nowhere to be found, yet the Self or soul is everywhere in everyone, and you don't care that your little self is gone. You don't need it. The physical body knows how to move around and it is powered by universal wisdom. You are along for the ride! I am curious how we move into enlightenment, especially without gurus or outside triggering causes. My guidance says: The toddler, at a magical moment, has an instinct to put one foot forward. The parent steadies but doesn't walk for her. You walked, out of your own overflowing little spirit, and there was the greatest joy in that, remember?! The praise? Heaped upon you? Still there is that foot-forward urge and at each age, you step into a new, wobbly endeavor. Recover the desire, the joy in the courage-that-isn't-courage but just pure simple extending. Your little heart wants the world and your "parent" is always there steadying you yet not interfering as you learn. When you fall it doesn't hurt; you get up fast because you want the freedom of expanded movement. Even now—that urge cannot be squelched. Now it says, "I want to dissolve my ego. Here I go. Watch me!"

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