Monday, July 31, 2006

The Role of Bones
I have embarked on a driving trip. Across California to Nevada and on to the Great Salt Lake, then across Wyoming and down to Denver. I am visiting my sister who has broken her ankle severely and is limping along courageously, putting more and more weight on the surgically-pinned bones, building strength excruciatingly slowly. I tried her crutches, the new kind that use wrist and upper arm strength rather than armpit pressure, which is now supposed to be bad for you. I made it about 3 steps. I now understand the determination it takes to rebuild oneself, one's bones, in this physical world, in time. In constrast, I am floaty, wasn't sure even what day to leave, then suddenly, I left at 5am and drove to Salt Lake City; 11 hours. I am waiting for a sign now about which day to leave for Albuquerque; no signs arrive. I feel into the subtleties of my urges; yes, no, not yet, maybe. What role do bones play in my life? What stability do I have? What stability is caving in or dissolving in my life? Mine is not as obvious as my sister's. What role does this seemingly aimless journey have in my life right now? Am I rebuilding?

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Heat Is On
Well, Al Gore sure picked a perfect time to launch his movie on global warming! We've had 2 weeks of over 100 degree temperatures here in the San Francisco area, with no fog, no breezes, not much cooling off at night—and my house is limited at best in its air conditioning capacity. It's an interesting challange to BE with heat. If I relax into it and don't resist it, don't resist sweat running down, or hands swelling, I find my mind goes very soft, and easily unconscious. It's hard to maintain mental focus. I am reminded of being in South Africa last year—in the spring—and yet there were some very hot days. I noticed men sitting under trees at various spots around town, not selling or doing anything—just staring into space. I wondered about them then, why they just sat there. But if you live with heat and no way to find relief, I can imagine your mind develops a habit of fuzzing out around the edges. Action, just moving your body, seems difficult. I am leaving soon to drive to Denver and New Mexico, by myself. I like driving long distances; it's meditational and centering. Everywhere, it will be over 100 degrees. What will I encounter? I am going now because it wants to happen now. Logic has no place in my planning. I will move and be moved.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Is Anybody Out There? You Bet!!
The advantage of having life slow down is that the more subtle life lessons, that I might normally gloss over, can knock me over the head with their brilliant love and humor. I've had very few phone clients this month and when someone finally called to book an appointment, I was happy and grateful. Two days later, she cancelled, saying, "I don't think I have any questions so it's probably not a good time for me to have a session." OK. Literally 20 minutes later, one of my regular clients called. "I just finished meditating and got that I should call to see what you're reading these days." I told her and she said she didn't think her book club would be interested in nonfiction. "But how are YOU?" she asked. I humorously told her about the dearth of clients and she said, "Well, I have money right now, so why don't I have a reading with you?" Oh, no—I said, but you are a sweetheart. "Yes!" she said, "I don't have any questions right now but that's probably the perfect time for me to have a session! I'll send you a check. I said she could just pay me when she came for the appointment. She said, "I want to send it. I want you to feel that money is coming to you!" Then, one of my women friends picked up, by the subtle tone of an email I sent her, that I was feeling a bit low. About 4pm my doorbell rang, and there she was, dressed in a gorgeous blouse with butterflies all over it, with 2 huge bunches of lush gold and purple flowers, a bottle of wine, and chocolate! "I thought you might need these," she said—the understatement of the year. It's like Spirit is saying, just because we've put the world on pause momentarily for you, doesn't mean we're not here, or that we aren't actively loving you. Just stay centered and in a state of peaceful joy. . .

Monday, July 10, 2006

Live Music in My House
Last week I was visited by 2 Japanese men. One is a man who has worked as my interpreter, and the other is a scientist. Both had attended the ISSEM conference on subtle energy in Boulder, CO. We had a great breakfast, during which Shin told me that he had been a stubborn scientist; "most are, you know," he said, laughing. "And that is why I got cancer. But I healed myself by getting rid of negative emotions and by playing the cello every day." He and Kaz were both full of joy and almost glowing—like divine elves. And after our omelettes, they came back to my house and Shin set up his cello and played a mini-concert. I play music often in my house, but there is a decided difference between what comes off a CD and the living vibrations that emanated from Shin's cello. I could feel the harmonious resonances going into the walls of my living room and into my body. No wonder Shin healed himself! The cello is nearly the full length of his body and the tones would go right into the cells. After they left, merrily on their way to Mt. Shasta, I sat in my empty living room. It felt alive. Me too. Spirit had struck our tuning fork.

Monday, July 3, 2006

The Universe Is Our Sales Rep
I took a teleclass last week on internet marketing hosted by 2 high-powered consultants-to-the-stars, reportedly raking in megabucks. One guy said he had hired a personal trainer to get him going at 6:30 in the morning and now he has even MORE energy to use for getting those big contracts! Every minute of the day is productive. Wow! I finished the call thinking, "Should I be more like this? Am I too lazy?" Their pitch attracted nearly 400 people to the teleclass—obviously the promise of what they offer is seductive to many. But I wonder: what's the motivation to make these spectacular amounts of money? To fulfill "outrageous goals in 90 days"? They claim to be spiritually based. But aren't they missing the power of BEING vs DOING? Aren't they missing the simplicity, grace, and surprise of what "spirit" brings us as our next opportunity—even when our minds aren't focused sharply with high intention and our goals aren't crystallized by ad nauseum list-making? I see that generating high energy and enthusiasm is extremely important to raise our body and personality as close as possible to the soul's vibration. That way the highest opportunities and results can easily occur. I just don't want to do it in a mentally stragegic way that feels unnatural and reeks of applied will power.

It seems to me that if we maintain natural enthusiasm, we also naturally want to stretch into what's new, to push the comfort zone and learn more. Will power and clever salesmanship doesn't seem to be so necessary—the universe makes the connections for us. The end goal is the joy of living, of fully occupying each moment, whether it seems full to the brim or empty—not just having material abundance. This is where I differ from most coaches today. Certainly there are mental techniques for arriving at and achieving goals but so much of it seems dry and bony to me; no juice, no flow, no water to wet the whistle. It seems to me there are new ways to live into our destinies that we are just now discovering. Upon first glance they seem too easy or invisible, but in the end they are elegant and powerful.