Monday, July 31, 2006

The Role of Bones
I have embarked on a driving trip. Across California to Nevada and on to the Great Salt Lake, then across Wyoming and down to Denver. I am visiting my sister who has broken her ankle severely and is limping along courageously, putting more and more weight on the surgically-pinned bones, building strength excruciatingly slowly. I tried her crutches, the new kind that use wrist and upper arm strength rather than armpit pressure, which is now supposed to be bad for you. I made it about 3 steps. I now understand the determination it takes to rebuild oneself, one's bones, in this physical world, in time. In constrast, I am floaty, wasn't sure even what day to leave, then suddenly, I left at 5am and drove to Salt Lake City; 11 hours. I am waiting for a sign now about which day to leave for Albuquerque; no signs arrive. I feel into the subtleties of my urges; yes, no, not yet, maybe. What role do bones play in my life? What stability do I have? What stability is caving in or dissolving in my life? Mine is not as obvious as my sister's. What role does this seemingly aimless journey have in my life right now? Am I rebuilding?

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