Wednesday, August 13, 2008


Sorting Vibrations: Dealing with Bullies
I have recently become embroiled in a situation where I stood up to, or stood out from, a bully who was dominating a group. I was accused of many nasty things that were untrue, and as upsetting as it was to feel my body responding to the adrenaline rushes this person was so adept at creating, the whole situation has proved to be quite interesting energetically. It was interesting to watch other people in the group either hang back or come forward, to see how conflict-avoidant we are right now. Some people tried to appease the bully. Others avoided saying anything hoping the situation would just go away. I wondered, "How does one deal with a bully without becoming a bully yourself?" Backing away one level, I could see that the theme of "bullying" was up for all the participants. Different people were pointing the finger at different parties. But something deeper was going on.

I get a strong sense that many people are in the midst of "adjusting their frequency" right now. That means we're unconsciously, but mainly consciously, deciding who we want to be, how we want to be, who we want as colleagues, friends, and clients. We are deciding to let go of old low-frequency behaviors based on self-sacrifice and victimization, and to move into a soul-based, much more unlimited way of living and perceiving. Whatever level we're at, we're pushing through to a new section of our destiny. I see people changing their living situations, their friends, their mindsets, their diets. Much confusion goes along with this process as the old dies and the new peeks out of the shell but is still so unfamiliar.

This process is happening in politics right now as well. Many people are just plain tired of being scared and tired. The fear-based people want to keep everyone else in the slower vibration with them, to control the world. The higher-vibrational, more fluid people want new leadership, innovation, new ways of solving problems that are win-win-win, and opportunities for growth.

Part of what stirred me to stir up the group I'm talking about is that the different vibrational levels of the people in the group seemed to be catalyzing into distinct factions. One dominating person was trying to hold the group into an "old" frequency that is too low and slow for me. What we were experiencing was a process of sorting vibrations. Part of this process means holding steady in your own core vibration, or essence, and not giving over to other people's more dominating, or seductive, vibrations. At times like this, there may need to be separations so that a deeper experience of unity can eventually occur. It seems ironic, but to pull out of involvements that have become unconscious, in order to see them and consciously choose what we want, may be necessary.

I think there is a phenomenon surfacing that has to do with how we handle conflict. In the group, as in the world, I feel many people avoiding the conflict, or trying to appease various parties, because of the great discomfort caused by the nastiness that's been thrown into the air. This is an opportunity for all of us to look at how we "hold our own" and stay open-hearted at the same time. I think this is what living a courageous life is all about -- after all, courage means "of the heart."

I am sitting with the idea of what needs I'd like satisfied and at what level I want to contribute in my life. Who are my colleagues? What will I NOT put up with anymore? I'd like to raise this topic and invite your feedback: What's your leading edge right now? In personal growth? In your career? In your life dream? As we see what's really real for ourselves and each other, perhaps we can find a way to serve those needs. Let's center in our truth, and speak from our passions. I'd love to hear from you.


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have encountered bullies lately, although I was not familiar with people like this. Perhaps I was just sheltered, although I am in my 6th decade of life. This happened in a school that is advertized as a place of healing. I did not know what to do--at first I thought it was something I was doing wrong. Upon further research I found a website that was helpful: www.bullyeq.com.

Anonymous said...

I have felt that shift in the last couple of years...of examining who I am around others, how do I be true to myself no matter what...not just keep the peace, of not trying to fix what isn't working. It is not easy, but I am finding it more valuable than being what others want me to be. I seem to have lived the spectrum in my (almost) 50 years of life--from being quiet and scared to being vocal and bold. I find myself wanting that happy medium that is me.