Saturday, September 18, 2010

Are you avoiding YOU?

I've lately been feeling an odd experience of being in limbo, not really engaged. I noticed I wanted to retreat, be silent, watch DVDs, read, and do menial tasks. I didn't particularly want to "make progress." I felt something might be wrong with me, that I seemed to be avoiding deep experience, which I've always craved. Shallowness! The biggest sin to me! I also began to notice that most of my clients and friends were feeling something akin to this as well, so I decided to "feel into it" and see if I could find something going on under the surface. Maybe it wasn't just some personal flaw after all.

What I understood, from my inner voice, was that we are all at a point of huge transition right now, as though we are about to step all the way through a doorway that so far we've just been looking at and contemplating walking through. The "old" reality—that based on separation, fear, will power, and linear cause-and-effect thinking—really seems old and ineffective and boring. The new reality, what I call the Intuition Age, is bubbling up out of our particles, both inside our body and in the air and things of the world. It is in the process of revealing itself and we are getting glimpses, and shots of whole feeling states of how it's going to be, but it isn't fully registered yet. This will still take some time to integrate.

Because we can't identify with our old habits, old identities, old ways of making our reality happen, and because we can't feel the fullness of who we are becoming yet, we are rocking and floating in limbo, between realities. And yet, this not-exactly-knowing-things reality is also a fine reality, and we can engage with it for the surprises and discoveries it offers us, for the secrets of transitions it reveals.

The problem is our left brain, which wants life to be defined, compartmentalized, and based on dealing with the ever-present fear of physical and emotional reality. But we are now breaking the tyranny of left-brain dominance, moving more into the right brain and its direct connection with the soul, the unified field, the collective consciousness, and with the new holistic "brain" of our body, organs, tissues, cells—all of which receive and transmit energy information. We don't have to know the Plan in its every detail! The Plan evolves every millisecond and can't be pinned down, doesn't need to be pinned down. What we need to know and do comes to US, we don't have to find IT.

But not knowing how the new Intuition Age reality is going to look and feel, before it fully emerges, is a left-brain worry. The entire rest of us, in all our multi-dimensions, is perfectly happy, relaxed, and engaged with the process. And this is a big process! Our bodies are changing and the more we fall into the process of acceleration and transformation, and get rid of clutter, the easier that rebuilding and recircuiting of our body can occur.

We're not avoiding our SELF! We're just not quite in alignment with the integration of the new higher frequency energy. It definitely affects us, and if we're distracted, not "being with" the process and the energy, it makes us feel jittery and hyperactive. We bounce away from our body, partly because the way we feel isn't the way we USED TO FEEL. And this is largely because we're semi-conscious, and thus reacting to what's happening to us rather than consciously responding and engaging. We've got to tune in and be with our bodies and receive—embrace—the new energies and run the energies through us and back out into the field; pass it on. Receive some more. Enjoy the energy!

I saw that what was happening to me was that I was trying NOT to distract myself, by being quiet. By doing gardening rather than marketing. After all, trying to make progress is something I did in the old reality, and some deeper part of me knew that I didn't want to create my life from will power, lack, or fear anymore. I wanted to reinvent marketing, reinvent the whole idea of work and career. The following is from Dr. John Amaral, a chiropractor from Santa Cruz, CA, and I think he makes some good points. Any of these ideas can serve as a trigger to remind you that you need to drop into your body and feel the energy working on you:

Here are 8 signs that you're in're moving away from a feeling or experience rather than moving toward wholeness in that moment:

1. You’re suffering. Your motivation is to get away from the pain or discomfort - whether it is physical or emotional - not because you’ve transformed and you’ve raised your standard but because you’re in reaction and you want to escape!

2. You want the symptom gone without you having to change anything about YOU.

3. You want someone to do it for you, or some magic solution to take you out of your experience.

4. You use words like “Always” and “Never” to keep yourself locked up. Now things are permanent. Always and never are a recipe for suffering: “This always happens to me.  I never get what I want. It never works out for me. I’m always left behind. I’ll never have enough money. I’ll never have the relationship I want. I’m always screwing up.”

5. You find that you keep having “Problems”!  When you are transforming there are challenges and opportunities, when you are awakening there are lessons and gifts…but problems are the experience that something is stopping you while you're running away.

6. You take things very personally. Somebody makes a little comment and suddenly it becomes all much bigger than it really is, and you feel victimized.

7. You feel like you have to let go of something. There’s nothing to let go of when you're transforming! You’re focused on grabbing the next trapeze bar, not letting go of the one you're holding. If you feel you need to let go of something, you’re never going to get rid of it. The way "out" is through Awareness, Acknowledgement and Acceptance of where you're at (Dr. Donny Epstein's Formula for Somatic Awareness).

8. You desire (whether consciously or subconsciously) constancy over growth and change. Your choices are out of safety and constancy - survival - the lowest level of human development.

What's happening to all of us, and to the planet, and every form of life, is a fantastic, good, great, amazing thing! We are making light-years of progress without having to "make progress." We and the world are doing it together. Let's be present for it, eh? We bought tickets to the show, so let's participate actively. This way we'll speed through the transformation of our body and reality, on the momentum created by the many, and we'll be the leaders in the Intuition Age.


Rebecca Lawton said...

This is so, so, very true! Everyone I know is experiencing un-ease and trying to integrate letting go of the old with welcoming the new, though none of them (including myself) know what that "new" is. Even though we all feel it is going to be wonderful, still the "unknown" factor is a bit daunting! All my horoscopes, numerology reports, and tarot readings point the same way .... change is coming. I welcome it with open arms!
Thanks for, yet again, a wonderful post!

Anonymous said...

But it's difficult to see this process as a "fantastic, good, great, amazing thing" in the personal realm. Perhaps so in the collective.

torc1971 said...

This "unease" is making me uneasy,too. Not knowing what's going to happen next. I basically identify with point #6 "the victim cycle" which is so unhealthy, self-defeating and #8 - not wanting to go to the next step, settling for comfort instead of wanting to experience something totally new, but the same time scary. Like when you hear of abused women wanting to stay with their abusive husbands/boyfriends even though they know staying in that relationship is bad for them, they stay because that's the only thing they really know or not wanting to try another type of cuisine because you're contented with steak and potatoes.

Nancy said...

You hit the nail on the head. I do feel uneasy and restless. I continue to try to find a reason. Maybe just I just need to relax and enjoy the show.