Saturday, June 23, 2012
My "Processing" Quandry: Clearing Wounds in the Intuition Age
Every so often I'm drawn into the temptation to "process" blockages, to clear myself of negative beliefs by rooting them out of the subconscious mud of my past, or to discover hidden passions and goals by fishing for lists of them in the great ocean of possibilities. It's an old habit shared by many people I know. I used to have a therapist friend who constantly dragged me back to childhood to make me find wounds I wasn't sure existed. We ended up in friendly fights, as I maintained that I didn't need to go there, that the secret to freedom was in the present moment, not the past. He thought I was the Queen of Avoidance.
At business meetings, facilitators want me to take tests so they can analyze who I am from the boxes I check next to superficial questions, then I am to project myself 15 years ahead in time to see what I'm accomplishing, then work backward to today to see what I SHOULD do now. The idea, the reality, of squooshing myself into these tiny brittle realities, of letting the left brain limit the scope of my soul, turns me into a wild bronc with a strangling saddle and numbing bridle strapped to my sensitive parts.
Somewhere in the heart of every evolving cell in my body, I know that in the present moment, in the absence of my left brain's egotistical tyranny, I am perfectly fine. Right here in this moment, there are no blockages, and I am not stuck in fear. I am what I am, simple, clean, clear, sweet, lovable, loving, and wise. And, yes, I do contract in various ways, but I see that as part of the natural flow. And when I don't resist, I don't stay contracted for long.
I know instinctively that if I return to this "simplicity-identity" repeatedly, and saturate with its peace, any attachment I may have had to being loved conditionally, or to my true self being invisible and undervalued, or to having to please others to stay alive—will fade. Those realities will fade to the point where they have no reality, and I will think these things probably happened to someone else, or weren't actually real, or I dreamed them, or maybe this is just something everyone has—no big deal.
As the energy in the world intensifies and our personal frequency increases, life is lived more and more in the present moment. That means everything happens more instantaneously, even healing. To clear ourselves of "blockages," these days we only need return to the present moment, where realities of the past exert no influence. To maintain the experience of being blocked, I must maintain the memory-reality that I am wounded and helpless, and to do that I must live in the past. In the present moment, if I tell the truth, I am unlimited and whole.
Unless I drag memories of the past into my present and cling to them—and invest attention in them and make them come alive continually even though they're not actually real now—I will experience myself as free of blockages and wounds. In the present moment, there are no preconceived ideas, no yes-buts, no empty places where I cannot feel the full presence of my soul.