I have been investing my life force and attention in ideas that block the flow of my soul, just as I might invest my savings in a loser mutual fund. How many times have I chosen to close my heart just because someone else's heart was hard or cool? Why do I cause myself pain like that? Just to match them and have some kind of connection? Because we can't expect any more here on earth? I'm drawing the line! I'm investing in soul-serving, soul-freeing thoughts from now on.
I make a list of the ideas I've held unconsciously that pertain to: 1) doubt, worry, lack of confidence; 2) self-sacrifice, victimization, unfairness, helplessness, rescue, overwhelm; 3) scarcity, fear of loss; 4) denial, avoidance, procrastination, postponement, waiting; 5) rebellion, stubbornness, complaining; 6) feigning ignorance; 7) envy, resentment, indignation, betrayal, stealing; 8) violence, retribution, punishment, judgment, vengeance, aggression, domination. These are mistakes of perception. I flag them. I catch myself now every time I start in on these themes or hear those societally correct platitudes we're all hypnotized into repeating: "Well, everybody does it." "I'm not too bad." "Oh, I don't know." "I'm no expert." "It could be worse." "I can't." "Maybe. . ." Patiently, I ask my soul to re-educate me about who I really am."
Excerpted from The Present Moment: A Daybook of Clarity and Intuition