How Transformation Works
Transformation Can Feel Negative and ScaryAs the energy-and-consciousness stream surges through you, it initially disturbs your comfort level as fears and emotional wounds are rousted from their hiding places. You might feel buzzy and electrical, overheated, or manic. Your heart might pound erratically and you might be unable to sleep. Your emotions might spike and dip, making you irritated, high-strung, or despondent. Your mind can be overactive, even delusional. The process brings fear and pain to the surface, causing anxiety, hyperactivity, and aggression-avoidance behaviors.
Most of us are used to living with suppressed fear, in denial, as a sort of make-do comfort level. We use strong fixed beliefs, opinions, and habits as cover-ups so we never have to feel our core rage, panic, and pain; we can just live in our head, on autopilot. But this is not possible anymore. As deep fears and pains rise from the subconscious, memories flood into your conscious mind in present time. That means you re-experience them as brand new fearful or painful real-life situations that closely parallel the original ones — which were never completely experienced, integrated, and released. Drama and trauma abound!
If you haven’t embraced the clearing process, you’ll tend to re-suppress and re-deny what’s uncomfortable. You may try to push it all back down into the substrata with your favorite fight or flight behaviors, the ones that have worked so well before. If you’re a fighter, you might use some form of control, domination, confrontation, intimidation, misdirection and trickery, or stoicism. You might puff up your feathers to appear big and strong. You may take a counter-phobic, aggressive, even violent, stance in life, or develop hair-trigger defensiveness.
If you’re more comfortable with flight, you might ignore the issues and avoid reality by becoming spacey, unconscious, apathetic, or noncommittal. You might feign ignorance, distract yourself and monopolize your mind with addictive substances and behaviors, or fragment your awareness by trying to do the million things in front of you. That way you won’t have time to notice much and your attention span will be microscopic. You might give your power away to outside authority figures, or act helpless, complaining about feeling unloved, deprived, or overwhelmed. Depression often follows.
When the heightened energy scares you and you clench and resist it, it builds up force like water behind a dam, and pushes harder. If you continue to choose and validate resistance, rather than Flow, life becomes intense and difficult, fills with negative experiences, then explodes, creating dramatic breakthroughs and breakups of old patterns.
Copyright by Penney Peirce
Illustration by Kristina Swarner